Blankers

The unnecessary investments, the unnecessary ventures, the unnecessary debts, the unnecessary losses, the unnecessary sleepless nights, the unnecessary bickering...

I seem to be the only one worrying about anything at the moment and it pains to see them like this.For what it's worth, I hope it stays afloat long enough. I'm hoping in earnest that it would.

Another unnecessary skirmish before the big day.

Georgia, won't you wait for me.

Trouble

Oh no, I see
The spider web is tangled up with me
And I lost my head
And thought of all the stupid things I'd said

Oh no, what's this?
A spider web and I'm caught in the middle
So I turn to run
And thought of all the stupid things I'd done

And I never meant to cause you trouble
I never meant to do you wrong
And ah, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm

Oh no, I see
The spider web and it's me in the middle
So I twist and turn
But here am I in my little bubble

Singing out
I never meant to cause you trouble
I never meant to do you wrong
And ah, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm

They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me

- Coldplay, Trouble

Rage

I woke up in the morning today, went to the bathroom and as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, felt myself transform into the Incredible Hulk.

COLD WHITE BLINDING RAGE was what I felt coming off me as I realised I was gripping the sink so hard, as if I was sure I could break it in two. RAGERAGE RAGERAGERAGERAGE RAGERAGERAGERAGERAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGERAGE RAGE RAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGE * 109204385029734098728093570982730948720938093285092735087%

This was the first time in my life I have had to swallow so much anger, stand aside and do nothing about it. Was so fucking pissed with everything as I walked out of the house that i swore to myself if the dog next door so much as barked at me, I would fucking jump in and rip its head straight out. SO BLODDY PISSED I COULD CHANNEL MY ANGER AND BLOW U.S. INTO A MILLION SHARDS OF ITSY BITSY PIECES.

*calms*

It was a good thing I decided to walk to office today as it took my mind off things and heck, I could certainly do without the angst building within.

Pains of Guilt

How I wish I spoke my mind...
How I wish I voiced my doubts...
How I wish I was firmer in action...

All the if's and should-have-been's wouldn't have been if all I did was trust my intuition.

damn...

magessan

magessan -- [noun]: A person who falls into an outhouse and dies 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

WTF...

Goodbye for now

I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel shine
through the dark times even when I lose my mind
But it feels like no one in the world is listening
and I can't ever seem to make the right decisions
I walk around in the same haze
I'm still caught in my same ways
I'm losing time in these strange days
but somehow I always know the right things to say

I don't know what time it is
or who is the one to blame for this
Do what I believe what I can't see
And how do you know which way the wind blows
Cause I can feel it all around
I'm lost between the sound
And just when I think I know, there she goes

Goodbye for now
Goodbye for now
So long
Goodbye for now (I'm no the type to say "I told you so")
Goodbye for now
So long (I think the hardest part of holdin on is lettin' it go)
When will we sing a new song
A new song

We’re still smilin' as the day goes by
and how come nobody ever knows the reasons why
Bury you deep so far you can't see
If you're like me who wears a broken heart on your sleeve
Pains is troubles that you know so well
Either time don't
It can't or you just won't tell
I'm not the type to say "I told you so"
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go

I don't know what time it is
or who is the one to blame for this
Do what I believe what I can't see
And how do you know which way the wind blows
Cause I can feel it all around
I'm lost between the sound
And just when I think I know there she goes

Goodbye for now
Goodbye for now
So long
Goodbye for now (I'm no the type to say "I told you so")
Goodbye for now
So long (I think the hardest part of holdin on is lettin it go)
When will we sing a new song
A new song
When will we sing a new song
A new song

And you can sing until there's no song left (song left)
And I can scream until the world goes deaf (goes deaf)
For every other word left unsaid
You should have took the time to read the sign and see what it meant
In some ways everybody feels alone
So if the burden is mine then I can carry my own
If joy really comes in the morning time
then I'm gonna sit back and wait until the next sunrise

Goodbye for now
Goodbye for now
So long
Goodbye for now (I'm no the type to say "I told you so")
Goodbye for now
So long (I think the hardest part of holdin on is lettin it go)
When will we sing a new song
A new song
When will we sing a new song
A new song

- Testify, P.O.D.